HEALING DEPRESSION, FEELING SUICIDAL AND TELEPATHY WITH A TREE
At the end of 1985, I migrated with my then husband and our two young children, 8 and 10, to Sydney. We wanted to start a new life, stabilise our marriage and continue our successful careers as town and regional planners.
To my great distress, in spite of having been accepted as a member of the Royal Australian Planning Institute, I have been consistently told by prospective employers that I was overqualified and unemployable due to lack of local professional experience. In addition, my marriage broke down only few months after we arrived to Sydney. I found myself with my children in a women’s refuge. Without any personal support on this side of the world or any idea about how to proceed in life, I plunged into a severe midlife crisis.
I felt uprooted, deeply depressed and powerless, like a driftwood lost in an icy cold ocean. I also felt I did not want to live for my own sake any more, but only to bring up my two children.
In the middle of winter, feeling heavy and laying down in my bed without any motivation to even get up, let alone do anything and not having any idea about how to move on, I looked through the window and saw a small deciduous tree standing by itself on the lawn. Aware that this tree would not have any problem about having lost its leaves and that it would have been happy with plenty of space and sun to itself, I saw it as a metaphor of my own situation - having lost all my 'success leaves' that I had grown overseas and lost in Australia. Projecting my own feelings I thought to this tree, “You look just like me!”
To my amazement, that very instant my depression, feeling suicidal and dy heavy in my body lifted up completely!
Immensly grateful to the small tree, I did not have any explanation for how this healing miracle could have happened. As an atheist and quite an arrogant sceptic I did not believe in miracles at all, but was writing them off as a delusion, most likely based on strong positive self-suggestion (placibo effect), or heavy brainwashing that would have led to blind faith.
However, this undeniable natural miracle healing took place in spite of my whole belief system and without me having expected any relief, let alone that my deep depression and feeling suicidal could lift up in an instant. I never heard any claim nor even dreamt of such a possibility. On the contrary, I was convinced that my desperate condition would take a lot of effort and a very long time to first become able to think about how to reconstruct my life, then long years to do it, and that only bit by bit my emotional weight would start healing back to normal.
While I was convinced that this profound healing shift took place as an immediate consequence of my negative projection, I could not understand that either - it was the contrary to placibo effect.
It occurred to me that I might have swapped energy with the little tree, to my benefit and possibly its detriment, but since it appeared that my thought would have triggered the possible exchange, I did my best to pour my love and gratitude to the little tree, hoping that it would help it recover from possible damage from the projection of my depressed energy.
Even though the circumstances of my life took much longer to change, my depression and feeling suicidal did not return. On the contrary, set perfectly free from the most disturbing emotional aspect of my midlife crisis, I reverted back to my previously typical, constructive and highly motivated self.
my whole body aura in October 2000
green - natural, contented, sharing, social
yellow - honest, analytical, sunny